Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Domestic Goddess - It's a Choice

I never said I was a Domestic Goddess.  In fact even in my darkest days when I had no belief in myself and searched deep for that big change to make everything 'all better'.  Even then, it never really came up.  I have never wanted to be a domestic goddess.

For some women it is their main calling, and because it fits with their core they are damn good at it.  Have you ever thought that the reason you don't excel at something is because deep down you just don't want to?  When we are very young we have a very strong belief in what we do or do not want to do.  Hence the child stiff as a board refusing to be taken in to Marks & Spencer.  If your body is putting up that much resistance perhaps there is a message in there.  I learnt very early on that my son did not like shopping trips.  And he learnt early on that sometimes we have to do what we don't want to.  But if that's the case we make that journey as enjoyable (short) as possible.

There are many compromises we must make in life in order to get from A to B.  But the ones we choose are just that, our choices.  After a certain age (16 legally but sometimes much later for many of us) we are free to make our own choices without requiring permission or approval from others.  We do not realise that the only one truly determining our choice is our self.
Yes, we are guided by external factors, by habits, by past behaviour, by our dependence on what others believe - or sometimes, even more screwed up (if we really check it out), by what we believe other people think or believe - having never really checked in on the reality of those thoughts or beliefs.

So, what, you may ask, has all this to do with being a domestic goddess (or not).  Well, I beat myself up on a regular, daily, sometimes hourly (if I'm at home all day) basis about how I should be doing laundry, should have a cleaner house, should do the dishes as soon as dinner is over.  The key warning trigger in all of this is "should".  I am slowly learning to expel said word from my vocabulary.  And I am getting really good at calling myself out when I veer down the "should" path.

Shoes Via

Sometimes it's OK to put our two year old shoes on and stomp and say NO.  Once you develop the habit of realising what you choose and want then there doesn't need to be so much stomping.

Because you just know, and can quite confidently and quietly say, 'This is my choice'.


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