|Artwork by Catherine at The MacsX|
I found the above quote in my 'Day Book of Comfort and Joy' by Sarah Ban Breathnach. The first time I read it I probably felt completely lost and pretty hopeless. The amount of rain we have here in the West of Scotland there's been plenty in my almost 48 years to wash the whole town away never mind just little old me. Still I have come to realise that all is not lost - there is a beacon of light at the end of the tunnel. (And it's not a big train coming from the opposite direction).
Despite my gung ho post last month I have gone to ground these past few weeks. Stressed, exhausted and yes, even a little depressed I finally hit the wall of 'no more'. Having a sick child takes away any 'self indulgence' of climbing under the duvet and hiding away that may have been indulged in the past, and right now seems like a really dreamy prospect. Even a Jennifer Aniston Day is a distant longed for memory.
I feel like I've been trying to go at full tilt with the handbreak on for the past 9 months and the engine has finally given up the ghost. So it's time for some reassessment and to figure out just what's important. Each time I have hit this invisible wall in the past I go back to core values and my key priorities. Key is health and happiness. As overwhelming as the frustration of not being able to figure out the health issue is, I need to get the engine going again.
Everything has been up in the air and I guess it's time to get grounded. As much as everything else loses its importance life does go on. And now, perhaps more than ever, it's important that the form that life takes is the right fit. That it is true. That it is authentic. And that, at long last, it is real. No more pfaffing about. I've gone through internet overload, too much information, too much advice, too much of everything. Going through my pinterest boards I came across this.
What I was really looking for was this:
Let the games begin,
Springing the changes.